THE MUSKONOMY RISES: Elon Musk Merges SpaceX and xAI into $1.25 Trillion ‘Interstellar Overlord’ Entity; Announces IPO That Will Make Current Billionaires Look Like Peasants
Elon Musk merges SpaceX & xAI into a $1.25T monster. The 2026 IPO is coming—will you be a trillionaire or a background character? Read the leaked details of the Muskonomy.
BOCA CHICA, TX — In a move that effectively declares the Earth’s economy "obsolete," Elon Musk has finalized the merger of SpaceX and xAI, creating a vertically integrated "innovation engine" valued at a staggering $1.25 trillion. The new conglomerate, unofficially dubbed the "Muskonomy," is preparing for a Summer 2026 IPO that analysts warn could suck the remaining liquidity out of the global stock market like a high-powered vacuum.
The Corporate Coup
The merger unifies the world’s most powerful rocket fleet with Grok-3, an AI that Musk claims is now "sentient enough to feel bored by human regulations." By moving xAI’s massive server farms onto Starlink satellites in low-Earth orbit, Musk has successfully bypassed terrestrial energy costs, cooling requirements, and—most importantly—national tax jurisdictions.
The IPO of the Century
The upcoming Initial Public Offering (IPO) is timed to coincide with a rare planetary alignment in June, a detail Musk insisted upon to "maximize the cosmic energy of the share price." Wall Street insiders report that the starting share price will be $527, with a projected leap to $1,500 within the first four hours of trading.
"We are moving past the era of 'companies' and into the era of 'planetary management,'" a high-ranking SpaceX-xAI official told reporters while standing in front of a giant 'X' logo made of literal gold bars. "If you don't own a piece of this IPO, you aren't just missing a trade—you're choosing to be a background character in the next phase of human history."
The "Human Dividend"
In an exaggerated display of corporate "generosity," Musk announced that the new entity will offer a "Life-Support Tier" for early investors. Those who hold more than 1,000 shares will be granted "Priority Oxygen Allocation" in the upcoming Moon City, a feature Musk described as "highly recommended for anyone who enjoys breathing in the 2030s."
As news of the merger spread, Tesla stock reportedly felt "jealous," dropping 4% before Musk tweeted that the electric car company would eventually be "swallowed" by the new entity anyway, leading to a frantic buy-back that nearly crashed the Robinhood app.
